On one of the walls in my bedroom I have a pin board (I think I even mentioned it a couple of times on my blog already) to which I pin photos, things, quotes, song lyrics or anything that simply catches my eye in any way, or reminds me of a person/situation in my life that I want to remember in particular. Like a real life Pinterest, but a lot more messy. To people I surround myself with I call it a collage, because to me, who defines art as something done with creativity and emotional engagement, my pin board is an artwork. It is not easy to notice with your eyes, but in one of the top corners of the collage I wrote: “Welcome to the inner workings of my mind”. Because it is a line from a song I like, but also because that’s what the pin board is. A reflection of my mind.
Since it is very important to me, and it is what shapes my philosophy, kind of, I decided to write blog posts telling about each sentence written on my pin board. The first one I’ll be writing about – today is “Imagine having nothing to hide”.
Imagine having nothing to hide
The sound of your favourite song wakes you up in the morning, and as you wake up and slowly open your eyes you feel the sweet lightness of being. Sunlight is shining through your windows, the morning is one of those that actually make you want to get up and look outside. After moving on from the astonishment, you check the time on your phone. If you listen for a moment, you can hear tiny steps in the hallway outside the closed door of your bedroom, the steps of the person you love and care about, who’s getting ready to eat breakfast or move on to daily activities that we all have. You slowly move your legs to get up and as they touch the carpet laying on the floor of your bedroom, you feel the first step your taking in this particular day. You realize your using your senses, you feel your own existence, you’re feeling yourself. You feel bliss, as your sight perceives the beautiful sunlight, your ears hear the person you love, your feet sense the softness of your beloved carpet. You walk to the kitchen, make coffee and drink it from your ultimate favourite mug that no one else in the entire house can touch, because it’s yours. It is yours, as yours as your thoughts, your emotions – everyone accepts it. You get dressed and leave the apartment to start on your daily activities. You move your feet and it feels sweet. You feel the wind in your hair, the sunlight on your face, you smell fresh air. You look up and see the sky, it is beautiful. Suddenly you feel so happy you want to smile at everyone who’s passing you by. With no hesitance, you just start doing it. Everyone’s smiling back, because everyone feels the way you do. Ultimately happy. No concerns. Lightness. Bliss. Carelessness.
You walk through the door of your university building and you feel the heavy books and notebooks in your handbag. Your knowledge categorizes it as heavy, but your emotions tell you they’re not heavy at all, because inside of them, there are things written that tell you about the subject you love the most. As you think about reading the lines and writing down your own you feel passion. Passion, that put you where you are now. The passion that will lead you to become whom you will become after finishing your course, or even before that. The passion for knowledge, for the beautiful outcome of human creativity. As you think of people who made it possible for you to study what you are studying, you feel grateful. You feel happy, that perhaps someday, someone will walk down the same university hallway and think of you in the same way.
You meet your classmates as you get closer to the room in which your first lecture this day will take place. All of them, carrying the same books and their own notebooks look exactly as happy and passionate as you do. They must’ve thought the same things, or similar – because it’s rare for people to think exactly the same things. As you think about both the similarity and the pluralism of you and your classmates you feel over the heels in love with this world. You hear people talking about whatever they want to tell. You hear them asking you about your stuff. Your stuff, exactly as yours as your mug. Responding to them, there’s not a single fact you hide or colorize, or change to match the illusion of you that they know. Because they know YOU, you that is yours. Yours like your thoughts, your senses and your emotions. You don’t feel nervous, or embarrassed or overwhelmed as you speak to them, because you never lied to them, and you exposed your mind genuinely since the day that they met you. You feel even more comfortable when you realize the fact, that they paid back to you by doing exactly the same thing. Being honest. Not hiding anything.
After getting daily inspiration, motivation and knowledge in your university, you come home to eat dinner with the person, that you heard before. The one you love. You walk home in the peaceful evening, see the sun go down the sky which is getting darker as the time flies. On your way, you smell coffee from your favourite café and decide to grab two: for you, and the one that is waiting for you. You collect your order, two cups of coffee and two croissants. Your order. Your favourites. You shared it with the barista working in the café, honestly shared it, although it’s as yours as your true thoughts and emotions. A while later you enter your house and spend time with the one you love. You tell him about the things you learnt, the things you plan, the things you want. He asks you questions, he’s curious. Your favourite music plays quietly in the distance as you listen to the stories, plans and opinions of your loved one. The beauty of honesty.
That’s when you realize your existence feels so light because you feel no stress of lies, secrets and things to hide. That you notice the beauty of surrounding because all of the things you hid and will hide do not overwhelm your thoughts. That you know people smiling at you feel the same, because they have no luggage of secrets and misunderstandings. That you study what you love and realize your passion because you chose what is certainly your thing – genuinely. That the relationship you built with your classmates is so incredible, because they accept you and you accept them, for who you are and not the illusion you could built using the magic of white lies. That the barista got you exactly what you wanted, because you told him, honestly what your preferences are. That your loved one is here for you and you are here for him because none of you ever skips on anything that needs to be told or heard. And in the end you realize, that you have nothing to hide, because you’re not hiding anything. And the key to all this was nothing more than honesty.
This is how I imagine having nothing to hide.
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