Some people (including myself) find it very difficult to admit to themselves and others what they did or do wrong. We often don’t talk about our own disadvantages until someone finds out about them and throws it right into our faces, which often results in us getting offended or angry with this person. It’s easier for us to call the person rude or impolite than admit to ourselves that we made him/her do this.

In elementary school, in one of lessons we had a meeting with a psychologist. The meeting was formed in workshops, full of psychological games, that were supposed to make us more confident about our characters. One of the task was about filling in a table of our advantages and disadvantages. Everyone had a problem with writing one word. It ended up with asking each other about our advantages, being happy about hearing nice things. No one asked about disadvantages. Now, that I think of it… If someone gave us grades for knowing our own character or having the ability to explore ourselves – we’d fail. I think the main reason of that is us looking in wrong places. We look for signs outside, instead of looking inside ourselves. I dared to look inside myself. I put myself on trial. This post will be about how many good things it brought me.

1. Learn to listen. It’s not about dropping the caring about anyone’s opinion. It’s about choosing the right people in whose opinions you can trust.

What I had to learn was, that the world is not my enemy. The next step was, that being alienized and staying out of society isn’t the solution to my problems. You can’t create your own universe and have your own society consisting of one person which is you in it. You get hurt, you get criticized, isolation seems to be the only way out of the depressing situation you are in. I know this feeling. What I learnt was, that sooner or later your theory of isolation collapses. It starts to create more and more obstacles and oxymorons. Like, you escape to your universe of you to avoid loneliness. But you’re lonely there, aren’t you? The first philosopher I gained interest in was Tadeusz Kotarbinski. He wrote once, that staying in relations with other people is inevitable. That’s certainly true, so why shouldn’t I make the best out of it? Why don’t I find people I can trust and involve them in my character’s development? I did. Listen and learn. Tell the truth and let others learn from you. Your universe can only be perfect when you have somoeone to make happy inside of it.

2. You have more friends than you know 

What I used to do is look for enemies everywhere. I used to think the whole world is against me, no one understands me and I have me and myself to rely on. It felt like everyone abbandoned me, like no one was my friend. It’s like a nightmare in which faces of people around you turn into faces of demons and monsters. Except it’s for real.

We tend to reject people. We tend to complain about what we don’t have instead of appreciating what we do have. What if I told you, half of the things you consider your current problems: loneliness, lack of understanding, emptiness can be solved by dropping the illusion of you being the only human being in this world. All you have to do is go out and reach out to people. Go out and notice, that you have beautiful beings around you. Life is beautiful if you only want to see it that way. Read between the lines. 

3. Start wanting things and demanding them from yourself. 

I’m not talking about wanting 1,000,000$ in cash and demanding from yourself to earn it within a week. I’m talking about things that can help you become successful and shape your character. I’m talking about taking your turns. This world, this society you often like to reject is full of opportunities. What you have to do is notice them and make some effort to make the best out of them. What’s the profit of leaving your homework undone? What’s the profit of being angry with your ex-friends? What’s the profit of complaining about books being too long? And, finally, where’s the logic in complaining about not having possibilities when you’ve just left your homework undone, talked badly about your ex-friends and complained about books being too long?

See, had you chosen to do your homework – you’d practice things you’ve learnt in school and you’d improve yourself in it. Had you chosen to forgive your ex-friends, you’d now have a few of friends more. Had you chosen to read the long book, you’d gain self-satisfaction, find a few things out and improve your eloquence. It’s better to be an educated, sociable erudite than a lazy, constantly complaining and sad person. As long as you want things, you demand them from yourself, you see the opportunity – you can do wonders.

It’s impossible to write about everything I learnt while looking inside myself and and judging my own choices and actions. I try to present to you a part of it in every post I write. And that’s what I’ll continue to do. I have my passion and my calling. I have people who support me, I have my family and my friends I can talk and laugh with. I have my boyfriend who talks to me about politics and philosophy and never tells me to shut up. I have the opportunity and ability to learn and people who want to teach me. I’m happy, because I have reasons to be and it makes me unstoppable. 

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2 thoughts on “Things I learnt that made me change my life

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